Not Your Average Princesses Page 3

  The river’s current was gentle, so the raft moved downstream slowly at first. But as they made their way out of the castle grounds, the little raft began to pick up speed. All sorts of water creatures popped up out of the water as they made their way along the meandering stream. “Hello, Octo!” Herazanna cried to an enormous finned beast. “Hi, Gene!” she said, wiggling her fingers at a whiskered, three-headed creature.

  A small flock of water birds floated along beside them, chirping out a relaxing melody. Herazanna hummed along with the birds, trying to keep her mind off what was happening back home. Then she pulled out a lute and began to play a sad goodbye song for the creatures of her planet.

  Despite the tense task at hand, Chamberlin yawned every few seconds. Heralda was a dreamy sort of place, and the day’s excitement had begun to catch up with him. The raft rocked and swayed, and the princess played her music on and on. They were still a mile from their escape ship when Herazanna’s guide and protector, Chamberlin, fell fast asleep. Some planets just do that to even the most reliable of fellows.

  ATHENA

  Mettathena Mystos had waited as long as possible, but the moment had finally come for her to leave her planet, Athenia, and her people. For hours, she had stayed strong, helping to secure the royal grounds. She had made arrangements to ensure that everyone in the palace would have access to essential supplies while the royal family was absent. Mettathena wasn’t the type of princess to linger in long and tender goodbyes, but she felt duty-bound to take care of the staff who had kept an eye on her for years. She had no idea how long she or her parents would be gone.

  “Ready, Mykie?” Mettathena asked her teddy bear–like pet, a highly intelligent critter that was also Mettathena’s only real friend.

  Mykie cheeped back.

  The princess lifted Mykie into an elaborate baby carriage and tucked her under a pile of blankets. Mettathena secured a baby bonnet over her pet’s head and grimaced. “There.”

  Mykie growled and ripped at the blankets, refusing to settle down.

  Mettathena shushed her. “I know, I know,” she muttered. “I hate wearing silly costumes as much as you do—it’s very childish. But if we want to escape without being noticed, we must slip out of the palace in disguise. And that means you, my friend, are going to ride out of here in a baby carriage. So deal with it and play your part.” Mykie whimpered like a baby, and Mettathena patted at her in the carriage. “That’s better.”

  She pushed the baby carriage down the long hallways of the royal palace, remembering every few steps to coo and smile down at her “baby” in the carriage. Through the glass-walled corridors, she could see Geela’s approaching Android army. In the distance, she imagined that Geela herself was preparing to torture the people of Athenia. The self-appointed empress had already managed to take control of all the media networks in the galaxy. Today’s planetary takeover and attack on the royal families was the next step in her quest for total domination.

  Mettathena hustled toward the palace exit, scowling. Her usually stony, powder-gray features were slightly flushed from the stress of the day. Even though she’d had time to prepare for what was to come, she hated sneaking away like some kind of coward.

  Since that morning, Mettathena had been aware of the plan for her escape. As she was leaving breakfast—two perfectly poached eggs, served up with a side of political essays—she had overheard her parents on a holo-call with the other royal families of the Pentangle. She had only caught the tail end of the conversation, but that was enough: the planets of the Pentangle were preparing for an attack from the evil empress Geela, and the royal families were all at risk.

  The kings and queens of each of the five planets in their galaxy—Athenia, Rhealo, Junoia, Heralda, and Lunaria—had agreed to send the five teenaged princesses away to safety with Chamberlin, the senior butler in Athenia’s royal court. He would be tasked with watching over each of the junior royals and keeping them safe until it was safe for them to return to their homes again. As a matter of practicality and courtesy, Chamberlin had been dispatched to fetch the princesses on the other planets first … with orders to return for Mettathena as soon as the other girls were secure.

  Chamberlin had collected the other four princesses as planned, and now he had returned to collect Mettathena. While she waited to be called away, she had packed a small trunk full of supplies—a dozen sensible black smocks, six pairs of smart pants (one extra in case of spills or stains), and enough clean underwear that each of the princesses would have a week’s supply. At the last minute, she threw in five pairs of fleece pajamas—it could be cold where they were going, and she wanted to make sure they would all sleep comfortably. A good night’s sleep was the easiest way to keep your wits about you.

  She had also tossed in an electric keyboard, to keep herself from going crazy. Princess Mettathena was good at keeping her emotions in check, but she could only keep a level head when she had a few minutes during the day to express herself musically. It was kind of her dirty little secret. She knew her parents would be horrified if they knew about her songwriting, which is why she kept it quiet and private. Mettathena knew the other princesses of the Pentangle had gone through music lessons, too, so she had set a trunk with an electric guitar, a bass guitar, and a pair of drumsticks in the loading dock, hoping the other girls would appreciate the extra courtesy.

  Mettathena hurried through the cold, angular corridors of Athenia’s palace. Ahead, she spotted Chamberlin waiting for her. He was dressed as a doctor, complete with a heavily starched lab coat and a bag full of medical tools. The butler fell into step beside her and asked, “Ready, Your Highness?”

  Mettathena glanced at him. “I suppose. Are you sure I must flee? Can’t I stay and help the people?”

  “No, Your Highness,” Chamberlin said under his breath. “Your parents have given me strict orders to take you away. It is for your own safety.”

  “What about everyone else’s safety?” she snapped. The princess stopped to readjust her wig, then bent down to check to see that Mykie was still well hidden. When she looked up again, one of Geela’s henchmen was standing right in front of them.

  “Who are you?” the large, meaty guard barked.

  “Merely lowly servants,” Mettathena lied. “A nursery maid. And a palace doctor.” She raised her voice an octave, then squeaked, “We are taking this baby to the hospital wing. It is the child of one of the kitchen staff. It had the nerve to cough on the princess’s breakfast this morning. The royal family has asked me to remove it from the grounds as punishment.” The princess felt herself sweating beneath her wig and costume. She hoped her disguise and acting were believable.

  The guard peered over the edge of the pram and scowled. “Ugly kid,” he noted.

  Mykie growled quietly, then sneezed in the guard’s face.

  “Rude, too,” the guard said, narrowing his eyes. “Well … the royal family isn’t in charge around here anymore, so this kid can cough as much as it likes.”

  Mettathena’s eyes widened. She snuck a quick glance at Chamberlin, who refused to look at her. “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “I mean,” the guard said, barking out a laugh. “The king and queen are already in the glorious and all-powerful Empress Geela’s possession. They’ve been taken to a secret location. Now we just need to find and capture that princess brat.” He looked over Mettathena’s shoulder and peered down the hallway. “If you see her, send her my way. We get a bonus from the empress if we deliver her a princess.”

  Mettathena held her breath as the guard hustled away. Then, without further discussion, she and Chamberlin raced off in the opposite direction before anyone else could stop and talk to them. Although Princess Mettathena had never been one to show her emotions, she felt a lump of sadness forming in her throat—her parents had been taken prisoner, and her planet was in turmoil. Life in their usually peaceful galaxy was about to change.

  But by the time she, Mykie, and Chamberlin reached the old space
transport that would take them to safety, she had managed to shove her sadness and fear aside. Crying wouldn’t get her anywhere. If she ever wanted to get her planet back, Mettathena knew she would have to be smart and composed. She was ready: it was time to fight back. She just had to figure out how she was going to do that.

  She stepped inside the transport, slid the wig off her head, and looked at the four other girls sitting inside. “Hello, Your Highnesses. Let’s get started.”

  PART TWO: WHAT A DUMP

  CHAPTER 1

  “This planet is a total space dump,” Princess Lunaria announced, regally stepping off the space transport onto Borana’s litter-strewn streets. The princess of Lunaria stood on her tiptoes, trying to keep most of her feet from touching the filthy ground. Her pet, Adora, whimpered to be picked up. She curled into a tight ball in the princess’s arms. Adora detested soiled paws.

  “On the bright side,” Princess Rhealetta muttered. “We’re not in one of Geela’s prisons, or worse. So there’s that.”

  Lunaria glared at her. The only “bright side,” as far as she was concerned, was that the atmosphere of Borana seemed to be somewhat humid—so at least her skin would stay dewy while they were on their little holiday.

  None of the other princesses said anything, but it was clear from the looks on each of their faces that every one of them was thinking the same thing—Borana was really, truly nasty. This was a major step down from their home planets. The ground was dull gray and pockmarked; piles of garbage and recycled metals were heaped up all over the place. The sky was stormy and mustard yellow, and the smell of the air had a definite funk to it.

  But the fact was, there weren’t any lovely resort planets where five princesses on the run could hide—and there hadn’t been a lot of time to plan—so Chamberlin had taken the best and only option available to them. Sitting just outside the Pentangle Galaxy, Borana was close enough that the five girls hadn’t had to fly for months to get there. But it was also obscure and remote enough that no one would ever come looking for them.

  “Well,” Chamberlin said in a strangely chipper voice. It had been a long ride with the shuttle full of young princesses, and he was eager to put his feet up and prepare a cup of tea. “Shall we get settled? Unpack? See the sights?”

  The five princesses all glared at him. Chamberlin’s smile slipped. “Right, then.” He cleared his throat and clapped once, briskly. “First order of business: we need to come up with new names for all of you. I realize Borana is, well … a bit out of the way and rather lightly populated. But I don’t want to risk using your real names from now on, just in case.”

  He looked first at Junoia and said, “We’ll keep this simple. From now on, you will be called Juno.”

  Juno shrugged. “Fine by me. Whatever floats your boat.”

  “Princess Mettathena,” Chamberlin said, bowing slightly. “Henceforth, you shall be known as Athena.”

  Athena nodded. “Very well.”

  “And you,” he said, turning to Herazanna. “We will shorten your name to Hera.”

  “Heeeee-ra,” Hera said, stretching her new name out. Roxie, her little fluffball pet, bounced up and down happily. “I love it!” She giggled and looked to the other girls for approval. “Soothing, isn’t it?”

  “Like a warm, sudsy bath,” Rhealetta muttered. She grinned at Chamberlin. “Lemme guess my new name, Chamberlin. Could it be … Rhea?”

  “Very good,” Chamberlin said, surprised. “How did you know?”

  Rhea chuckled. “Lucky guess.”

  Chamberlin smiled thinly at Lunaria, who scowled back. The two of them hadn’t exactly gotten off on the right foot. And now that Lunaria’s feet and ankles were covered in dark gray Borana dust, she looked even feistier than she had earlier in the day. “And you, miss—” he began.

  “Princess Lunaria will be just fine,” Lunaria said, cutting him off. She crossed her arms and announced, “I am not changing my name. No one is going to recognize me without lipstick anyway, and since you wouldn’t let me pack any of my makeup before stuffing me into that laundry basket … well, there is absolutely no need for me to change my name.”

  “I’m afraid we must,” Chamberlin said. “You shall be known as Luna from this moment on. And speaking of makeup—”

  “You have makeup?!” Luna shrieked. She thrust out a hand and wiggled it under Chamberlin’s nose. “I order you to hand it over to me, right this moment.”

  Chamberlin cleared his throat again.

  “You’ve been clearing your throat all day. Do you have something stuck in there?” Rhea asked with a jaunty tilt of her head. “If your throat is scratchy, maybe Luna would be willing to share some of her juice with you.”

  “As if,” Luna snapped. “I am a princess. I. Don’t. Share. Juice.”

  Chamberlin stepped between the two girls. “As I was saying, we will also need to outfit you all with disguises. I do not have traditional makeup, but we do need to discuss how to make each of you up so you look somewhat different. Your parents packed a trunk with some basic supplies, such as hair dye, wigs, and accessories. Obviously, without those, you are each highly recognizable. Geela has an impressive army searching for you, and we need to make finding you as difficult as possible.”

  The princesses studied one another carefully. Each of the five planets of the Pentangle had highly different fashions, and every one of the royal courts had different ideas about how nobility ought to dress. Hera’s flowing skirt and flowered shirt were a far cry from Athena’s prim navy blue jumper and turtleneck. Luna’s fussy dress seemed galaxies away from Juno’s drab exercise uniform. And Rhea’s buttoned-up, angled tunic was just plain odd. It was clear from the raised eyebrows and quiet snickers that each of the girls thought the others’ outfits were utterly tragic.

  Athena stepped forward. In a matter-of-fact voice, she announced, “I have good news. I brought changes of clothes for everyone. I planned ahead, assuming we would all want to get out of our travel clothes when we arrived.” She gestured to Chamberlin, who pulled Athena’s trunk full of supplies out of the space transport. The princess of Athenia opened the trunk, then handed each of her fellow princesses a matching outfit.

  Juno’s eyes went wide. She held up a pair of neatly hemmed, conservative blue pants. “You’re kidding, right?”

  Athena blinked. “About what?”

  “You want us to wear this?” Rhea asked, waving a smock in the air. “This … thing?”

  “I also brought several changes of underwear for each of you,” Athena said, not understanding the looks the other girls were giving her. “I hope they are the right size.”

  Luna’s mouth hung open. “You brought us underwear? You expect me to wear someone else’s used underwear?”

  “They’re clean!” Athena said. “Why are you all looking at me like this is a bad thing?”

  “I think Athena’s clothes are cute,” Hera said. She was busy wrapping the tunic around her pet. She crooned, “Doesn’t she look absolutely adorable in this shirt? It suits you, Roxie … yes it does! Yes, it does!”

  Juno and Rhea both glanced at Chamberlin. “You’re not going to make us wear these clothes from Mettathena—I mean, Athena, are you?” Juno blurted out. Skitter grunted her agreement.

  “They’re awful,” Rhea announced.

  “I have a few spare clothes here, too,” Luna said. “Chamberlin had to sneak me out of the castle inside my laundry basket this morning. There are a few gowns inside my laundry that might work for disguises.”

  “I’d rather be caught by Geela,” Juno said, “than be caught dead in one of your dresses.”

  “Perhaps now is not the time to discuss your disguises,” Chamberlin said diplomatically. “Shall we work on getting you all settled first?”

  “Where is the hotel bellhop?” Luna said. She waved her arm in the air and yelled, “Hel-lo! Can we get some service over here?”

  “Take a look around,” Rhea said, rolling her eyes. “Doesn’t look like t
here are a whole lot of servants wandering around on this garbage dump of a planet.”

  “Oh, but there must be bellhops,” Luna said, laughing. “What proper hotel would make a princess carry her own bag? Even chain hotels have staff.”

  “And where is the hotel?” Athena asked.

  The five spoiled teenage princesses all looked to Chamberlin for an answer. “There is no hotel,” he said. “No palace, no castle, no servants, no bellhops. Only me, this space transport, and the five of you. And your pets, of course. We’ll all be bunking together in here.” He gestured to the vehicle they had used for their escape, which suddenly looked even smaller than it had felt on the ride out to Borana. “It will be cozy.”

  Reluctantly, the five princesses stepped back into the transport and took in their surroundings with fresh eyes. The space transport was large and roomy, shaped like an old-fashioned tour bus. There was one big room that looked and felt like a living room in the center of the ship. This is where the girls had relaxed and started getting to know one another on their journey out to Borana.

  Now, they moved beyond the main room and explored the rest of the transport. At the front of the ship were a modern kitchen and dining area, as well as the control room for the vehicle. At the far end of the ship were two bedrooms. One was tiny and windowless, the size of one of Luna’s walk-in closets. The walls were bare and painted a dull gray. “This room is mine,” Chamberlin explained.

  The other room was large and spacious, about the size of each of the princesses’ bedrooms back home. It had one big hangout area in the middle, surrounded by five separate sleeping pods. Each pod was sparsely decorated.

  “You can each design your space to your liking,” Chamberlin said hopefully.

  The girls poked their heads into the pods, not bothering to hide their disgust.